man advice needed

"itschrome" (itschrome) 04/21/2016 at 16:00 • Filed to: None

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Hey this one goes out to the married ones out there.

So I’ve decided to take the leap and I’m doing some ring shopping and as I’m super limited on funds at the moment due to having bought a buffalo recently, going on a over night trip this weekend and then away for a week in two weeks. It’s during the 2nd trip I want to pop the question, but with all the travel buffalo buying and general life I’m on a very tight (see $600) budget. I did some retail shopping and while I could buy one in a shop my budget is pushed a hair and ultimately I feel I’m paying too much for the box store tax. So I’ve been looking online and Amazon has some good deal’s in my range, but I’m hesitant on buying this item from amazon or online for that matter. But the prices are much lower online across the board with out the box store tax. Has any one ever bought a ring online and what was your experience? where you happy with the item and the experience? did you have any trouble and if so was it easily resolved?

Flying lancia for your time.

Azrek > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:04

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...due to having bought a buffalo?!

Congrats...that is the best statement I’ve heard all week!

BJ > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:05

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I have not purchased jewelery before.

If you’re super strapped for cash right now, how about getting something really simple? A simple gold band, with one stone or none at all?

I’m not a fan of traditional engagement rings, but you and your partner might have different tastes or expectations.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:06

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I bought our wedding bands on the internet, sizing was the hardest thing. They were aircraft grade titanium.

itschrome > Azrek 04/21/2016 at 16:07

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Saddly it is much less interesting than it sound...

area man > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:08

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I bought my wife’s engagement ring on Etsy for something like $500, I forget. First of all, I feel it’s my duty to let you know that ITS OK to not spend a fuck ton of money on a ring. That money is far better spent if its put towards something related to your future together, like a house or car down payment, than a stupid ring.

As for the online thing, if you know her size and the store/shop/seller has good reviews, it will be fine. The only thing to warn about is that since you’re only shopping via picture, the stone will always look bigger in the picture vs. when you’re holding it in your hand. But she won’t care, I promise!

I actually did have a bit of trouble, because I submitted the order thinking it would arrive by a certain date before I was traveling, and when they contacted me with an updated delivery date that was after our departure I asked them to send it rush to the place we were staying. They did, I got it, she said yes, and the rest is history.

MonkeePuzzle > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:08

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I’d by a simple (read: cheap) band to propose, and let her be involved in picking the actual ring once she is in the know.

the simple band can always double as wedding ring for travel, which my wife does when she goes overseas or camping or similar, where loss of her HOLY HELL MY HUSBAND IS AMAZING AND THINK OF THE CARS HE COULD HAVE BOUGHT INSTEAD OF THIS ROCK ring would be somewhat more catastrophic.

as to has anyone bought a ring online? my brother did, even got sized by a jeweler in person, the size still came wrong and was falling off his finger during the ceremony

itschrome > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 04/21/2016 at 16:08

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where did you buy from?

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:09

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My wife and I bought our rings online and as long as you know the proper size you should be good. Overstock.com has some good stuff too. There are lots of ways to get the ring.

Azrek > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:10

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Sigh

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:12

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I don’t remember it was canadian though, probably lots more options now days, that was 2000.

itschrome > BJ 04/21/2016 at 16:13

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me either, I generally disagree with buying diamonds if they are A: not man made. if they are man made then the price can be at least justified for the most common gem on earth. Not just artificially inflated by hoarding corporations. or B: the bloodiest of conflict Diamonds, then at least I know 14 orphans at least died to justify the price..

How ever, it’s not really my choice here haha. the women has the final word on this topic and she wants a Diamond, a real one and a non conflict one... :/ this is really just a temporary ring for a few years any ways but I still want it to be nice.

LongbowMkII > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:17

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As a cheap bastard, check out reputable pawn shops.

Just... Hide the receipt.

itschrome > area man 04/21/2016 at 16:17

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yes, ETSY! I totally forgot about them! thanks dude. and I agree a ring should be this massive investment at the start of building a family, we both agree. Same on the wedding. I know a couple that ring+weddding+honeymoon are now $27k in debt! on top of 100k+ student loans. they also make less than 40k each a year.... they are struggling now and fight a lot about money... morons.. we aren’t strapped for cash but we aren’t over flowing with it either. this summer is a lot of paying of stuff then saving and we’d wait a year or so to get married so we don;t go into this broke, it’s just bad timing on buying a ring. If i had another week or two I could push that up to about $1200 but that feels like too much even if i had it to spend.

itschrome > MonkeePuzzle 04/21/2016 at 16:19

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that’s an idea. I was also thinking I could just buy a rock and then a few weeks later we could have it set on a cheap band. You can get a lot more rock for the money and bands like you point out are cheap. setting is cheap as well. but I dunno how well a box with a rock would go over. haha

Funktheduck > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:19

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I'm in a similar boat but she doesn't want me to spend more than around $600. She showed me several she liked on Etsy. You could look there. My idea was to take some images up to a local jeweler who did some work for me in the past and see what he can do for me.

itschrome > Azrek 04/21/2016 at 16:20

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I know man... I know... but it gets good gas mileage! and.. and... *sigh* no it’s just a big brown, slow buffalo... :/

itschrome > Funktheduck 04/21/2016 at 16:24

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yeah some one else just pointed out etsy as well. I’m gonna look there too. I talked to some local jewelers and they just want soo much for any kind of work or anything really.

jminer > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:24

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You’ve got some pretty solid advice so far. If you two are right for each other she won’t care that you didn’t spend a ton on a ring. I proposed to my bride with a $300 ring set while I was broke and 19. Long story short, she said yes and we’ve been married nearly 12 wonderful years.

We at the point in our lives where we are talking about upgrading her rings, but she still wears them everyday. Mine had to be replaced a couple of years ago because it was starting to wear a bit too thin. We just got a tungsten band off of Amazon, cheap and has help up well.

Also depending on her style, if you’re looking for a Vintage type ring. EBay isn’t to be overlooked. There are some shady sellers on there, but more variety than you’ll find anywhere else.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:26

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I would recommend if you’re trying to keep the cost low seeing if the significant other is potentially interest in a non-diamond alternative.

A couple tips to remember. 1 color of the metal, for example if I got yellow gold my wife probably wouldn’t be my wife right now. She’s not that superficial don’t worry it would have just been a very obvious sign that I didn’t even know her. She hates yellow gold. Next, ring size. Then, shape of the stone.

Those are the 3 keys.

As for buying online you need to make sure it’s not plated. You want your 10k gold or 14k gold, not copper or brass that’s coated.

Titanium is a fun option as I’ve seen people say in here, but it cannot be sized. Ever. It’s too strong. That’s cool, but people fluctuate in size over the course of their lives. So I don’t recommend it.

If you go for a legit diamond you can read up on the clarity/color ratings and hopefully pick with that information provided.

itschrome > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 04/21/2016 at 16:26

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been eyeballing some on there too. I don’t know an exact size but have close enough. she doesn’t know I’m doing this so it’s hard to get that size perfect, infact I may have used a Tailor Ruler on her while she was sleeping... that’s not a dirty thing I swear. haha

smobgirl > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:26

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There are shops that specialize in estate jewelry and they sometimes have some pretty nifty stuff much cheaper. I’d be wary of Amazon, myself.

Personally I’d prefer a kitchenaid mixer to a ring but even then I want to pick the color, haha.

Best of luck!

area man > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:28

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We also spent around $7500 on our wedding, and even that felt like too much considering it’s really just a party for everyone else. You can get the important bits done for free at the courthouse!

luvMeSome142 & some Lincoln! > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:28

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I think your bang for the buck on Amazon is fantastic in the sub $600 range. That’s where I would go. I agree with the ‘stay simple’ advice from others. My wife upgraded her rings after we were married for a while and were in a better financial position (not broke).

I just checked on Amazon in their engagement ring category and filtered $200-$400. Lots of nice options with free 2-day shipping with Prime!

Make sure you know her size. Many sellers will refund or exchange for free if you do need to resize though.

itschrome > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 04/21/2016 at 16:31

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we both hate yellow gold. Neither of us feel we have good color to make it not look trashy. haha so “white gold” or silver is the go to (atleast in this price range) and I know she insists on diamonds, non-man made and certainly not conflict diamonds (but they are soo cheap!!! damn women) and she says she hates princes cuts but says she likes square ones... in other ones she has no idea what she’s talking about there.. haha

and yeah should never get a women a titanium ring, they bloat too much, more so if you ever want them to mother children. my friend learned that lesson when she had to get her’s cut off when she ballooned up during pregnancy.

itschrome > jminer 04/21/2016 at 16:32

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exactly, we can always upgrade later. but for now I’m sure she will love what ever I get her. and I stopped dealing with ebay years ago.

itschrome > area man 04/21/2016 at 16:34

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nice, yeah I hope to be able to do it for about the same coast. 7 to 8k is reasonable for the wedding. Neither of us have wealth in the family and both her parents just retired, we don;t want them paying for shit. we are very down to earth people and she’s super easy going so it wont be too bad.

jminer > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:35

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I can’t blame you for avoiding ebay. Their buyer protections have gotten excellent though. If you’re unhappy the seller has to bend over backwards, and if you’re still not happy you get your money back.

I do a lot of buying and some selling on there. It's the only source for used motorcycle parts around...

yamahog > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:36

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Congrats in advance!

Step one: do you know what she likes? Setting/metal/styles/cuts? If not, does she have a Pinterest you can consult and/or relatives that can keep a secret (if it’s a surprise)?

Step 2: ETSY! I’ll post some nice US-based shops once I’m back on my laptop. Definitely don’t want to order from overseas, esp with your time frame. And if you know she doesn’t care whether or not it’s a diamond, have you looked into moissanite?

Or alternately, option 2b: if she does have relatives who can conspire with you, maybe find out if there are any heirloom rings she would like?

itschrome > luvMeSome142 & some Lincoln! 04/21/2016 at 16:36

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cool, glad I’m not the only one seeing some decent stuff in that range. it’s just so hard not being able to see and touch them and then reviews are useless it’s either “OMG I LOVE THIS RING MY HUSBAND BOUGHT ME AND I’LL CHERRISH IT FOR EVER” or “THIS IS A PIECE OF SHIT AND MY STUPID BOYFRIEND IS A CHEAP BASTARD” not really helpful.... I’m close with size, I measured her in her sleep but that’s not super accurate I think.

Little Black Coupe Turned Silver > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 04/21/2016 at 16:39

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I like your wife. I might be terribly single, but I’ve always stood firm in my belief that if someone actually proposes to me using a yellow gold ring, I’m still saying no, because they should know better.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:39

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Maybe she’s in to cushion cut or emerald cut (rectangle)...or maybe she thinks princess cuts are round.

I got my wife’s ring on a crazy discount in store. was listed at 1500 and I bought it at 750 after negotiating/sales. I just said listen I’m still in college I don’t HAVE to propose now, I’ll just wait man, we’re not getting actually married until we both graduate anyhow. They kept working down until I was at a price I could afford.

Sales person was pissed but I won out.

itschrome > yamahog 04/21/2016 at 16:39

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*sigh* she wants a diamond.. a real one not man made either..

I have a good sense for what she likes, no yellow gold and i don’t trust what she says ion cut cause she says no princes cuts but then tells me she likes the square cuts.... if you don’t know, the square cut IS a princes cut....

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Little Black Coupe Turned Silver 04/21/2016 at 16:41

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I’m so glad I was able to emphasize that it was about knowing her and not about vanity for certain rings.

I’m pretty sure a round stone would have gotten me the same reaction too.

Everything in our house is square, even the glasses and the fine china plates, and the nice glassware, she just likes squares.

itschrome > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 04/21/2016 at 16:42

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I know she likes round cuts so I’ve been playing safe and looking at those. I got them down to 650 from 1100 on one at lunch today at kay, but then they hit you with fee’s for sizing, fee’s for this or that and it was 1050 by the end.....

yamahog > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:50

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ah, I see.

and I think you may be confusing each other on cut: although princess-cut diamonds are square in shape, they are just one type of square cut! Maybe she means Asscher (heh, I said ass) or 1:1 emerald cut?

ETA: ask around if any of your friends know anyone in the diamond wholesale business. You’re not in southeast Michigan or NY by chance?

Little Black Coupe Turned Silver > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 04/21/2016 at 16:56

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Well, this is creepy. My dishes are square, and I had square water glasses for many years until too many broke and I replaced them. I couldn’t find any square ones so they are normal now.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 16:57

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Yea I was like 750 out the door. that company closed down though which sucks.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Little Black Coupe Turned Silver 04/21/2016 at 16:57

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hahaha

her vehicle is even a square! Well, a box anyhow. She daily drives the lifted Commander I post about.

luvMeSome142 & some Lincoln! > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 17:02

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Yeah, most of the reviews are worthless. Especially since there are only a couple on each item. Just go with one of the bigger sellers. You probably can’t go wrong with the Amazon Collection rings.

vicali > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 17:02

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Congrats!

Lot’s of great suggestions, I would do the travel/lightweight engagement ring and have her help pick out the final deal..

That’s not what I did though - I walked into the custom jeweller and gave them my line of credit.. haha.. I’m glad I knew what she wanted, colour, cut, style, etc.. Still the couple of weeks while it was made and before I asked her were stressful! Either she was going to love it, or I was a deadman.

itschrome > yamahog 04/21/2016 at 17:06

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Oh god... You just made it even more difficult.. hahaha

yamahog > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 17:08

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Ok, scouring Etsy...

Does she like vintage jewelry? This particular ring is interesting and within your budget, and there are a bunch of other options from this store too: https://www.etsy.com/listing/233395…

Another from the same shop: https://www.etsy.com/listing/264116…

Different shop, I love love love these settings: https://www.etsy.com/shop/OroSpot?r…

And I’ll keep looking, but a lot of stuff would be shipping out of Israel and probably not available in time :/

yamahog > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 17:14

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ahhhh sorry, lol! but you said she likes round, so can’t go wrong with that. Good luck!

Stapleface > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 17:16

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Maybe this isn’t the best advice, but if she loves you the ring doesn’t matter. A simple band should be plenty good enough. Don’t go hog wild on a ring, or a wedding, or even a honeymoon. Save that money for a down payment on a house, something that really matters in the long run.

If you absolutely insist on buying her a diamond, you can potentially find great deals on Craigslist.

MotorsportsAustin > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 17:17

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For a real diamond, without the blood and exploitation, but the loose stone or stones here: http://sciodiamond.com/diamonds-for-j… then buy the setting anywhere (or at jeweler) and have a jeweler install.

itschrome > MotorsportsAustin 04/21/2016 at 17:19

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yeah I’ve been exploring this option too..

Also, welcome out of the grey my friend.

itschrome > Stapleface 04/21/2016 at 17:22

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we’re on the same page my friend.

itschrome > yamahog 04/21/2016 at 17:24

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I like that 2nd one a lot, and I’ve been looking at the vintage. I think they look much nicer than most I’ve seen new! thanks for the links!

MotorsportsAustin > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 17:30

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I bought my wife’s 3 stones from Apollo Diamond before Scio acquired their patents and equipment, one of the .28's was flawless, they have held up great. They could only make them up to about .7 of a carat at the time, and price was right! Made in America. So much goodness about the whole thing. Oh, and we’re still married.

yamahog > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 17:36

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so exciting!!

just-a-scratch > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 17:49

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Well, you may be better off with the round cut. There are more of ‘em out there, more settings for ‘em, and I’m guessing you’ll get more for your dollar there.

I would stick with a solitaire Tiffany setting or similar. (just the style, $600 will not get you much at Tiffany & Co.) A bunch of jewelers will allow you to exchange the ring later if she wants something different. Make sure you look into that. It might get you more time to save a bit extra.

White gold (i.e. rhodium plating) is a lot cheaper than platinum. Silver is a whole lot less than that, but requires much more maintenance, and some people have skin sensitivity to it.

Make the act of the proposal something that will stand out for her. That makes the ring itself less important in the whole proposal.

Educate yourself on the grading of stones. Some that look very similar to the naked eye can be very different in price due to minor imperfections. I recommend buying size (carats) and color, more than worrying about inclusions and perfection of the cut. Most diamond cutters will do a good job with the cut anyway.

Take a look at stones individually if you can. You may find that some cheaper ones look much better than their peers in cost.

Phyrxes once again has a wagon! > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 18:19

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As a school teacher I went with the budget ring and went with a stone I knew she liked with some smaller accent diamonds, I also bought it online, Blue Nile maybe? It’s been almost 10 years.....

RutRut > itschrome 04/21/2016 at 20:16

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May not apply but having recently gone through the same process: my now fiance had a rough idea it was coming, we decided to use heirloom stones and I purchased a custom setting. Even a fancy custom 5 stone setting came out well under $1k using our own stones. Plus she now has her late grandmother’s engagement diamonds and my mothers and loves it. We kept her grandmothers ring and put different stones in. Just one option.